Mistakes will happen; fixing them so that they won't be repeated is the challenge.

The Jewish high holidays are Rosh Hashana (New Years) and Yom Kippur (Day of Atonement), the ten day period between them is called Teshuvah. Although this is a religious ritual that I do not follow as a matter of religion, the steps outlined in the article are the process I use when I have done something wrong. I also believe that people can do bad things without being bad people.

"Teshuvah: Dry Cleaning for the Soul
By Rabbi Shraga Simmons
Editor's Note: The following are excerpts from an article at www.aish.com.

Done something wrong? We all have. Here's how to fix it. Once and for all.

Many people misunderstand the concept of sin. They think someone who sins is a "bad person."

Actually, the Hebrew word chet does not mean sin at all. Chet appears in the Bible in reference to a slingshot which "missed the target." There is nothing inherently "bad" about that slingshot! Rather, a mistake was made-due to a lack of focus, concentration or skill.

The same is true with us. When we engage in irresponsible or destructive behavior, we have simply misfired. Every human being has a soul, a pure piece of Godliness that distinguishes us from the animals. When we do something wrong, it is because the soul's "voice" has become temporarily muted by the roar of the physical body-but our essence remains pure. We only need to make a few adjustments.

This is the idea of Teshuvah. Teshuvah literally means "return." When we "do Teshuvah" during the High Holidays, we examine our ways, identify those areas where we are losing ground and "return" to our own previous state of spiritual purity. And in the process, we "return" to our connection with the Almighty as well.

The process of Teshuvah involves the following four steps:

# Step 1: Regret. Realize the extent of the damage and feel sincere regret. This step is the most crucial, because unless a person truly feels regret and can distinguish between right and wrong, he or she will most likely continue in his/her errant ways.
# Step 2: Cessation. Immediately stop the harmful action. Can you imagine trying to ask forgiveness from someone while you continue to wrong him/her at the same time? Without stopping the bad action, all the heart-pounding in the world won't help.
# Step 3: Confession. Articulate the mistake and ask for forgiveness. In admitting our mistake, Jewish law prescribes that it be articulated verbally. The Torah requires us to be humble and contrite as we ask forgiveness. This is crucial in enabling the "victim" to heal.
# Step 4: Resolution. Make a firm commitment not to repeat it in the future. What concerns the Almighty is whether we're making a sincere effort to move in the right direction. This means making a serious commitment to change-and taking the right steps at the right time. Nothing can stand in the way of persistence and determination. An individual doesn't need to have all the answers right now. The key is the commitment to change."